it has been a month... honestly, im still cant accept the fact that he's gone... i miss him... though we were not that close... it was too sudden and too soon... he didnt get to see me becoming a lawyer... he didnt get to be my wali on my wedding day... i miss him... i used to be his little gurl...
the sweetest memory of him that i cant never forget was when he teased me while i was pretending to be sleeping... i cant remember how old i was but old enough to remember... he was carrying me to the bedroom while i was pretending to be sleeping... n he said "aik... tido pon blh senyum" i was so damn happy... i wish i could turn back the time...
people may see me smiling... but deep inside... i am crying... i really need a shoulder to cry on... but i still cant find it... not even my mum... no one understands... im tired of pretending to be happy while im not... im tired of pretending that i am ok while im not...
there are many things that i regret... i wish i had the chance to at least ask for his forgiveness or at least being there at his last moments... loosing him was something that i never expected to be this soon... that is why i am still in the state of denial that i cant accept the fact that he's gone... is it terrible? is it normal? well i dont know...
i am lost... ='(
No comments:
Post a Comment